Why do breakups have such a great impact on one’s life? No matter how tough you may be, or how hard one tries to deny it, breakups tend to have certain ramifications on all aspects of our lives. Over time, people have learned how to cope with the realities of a breakup and regain control over their love life. As a result, we have accumulated a book’s worth of advice regarding breakup advice from all over the world. So rather than learning the hard way, we have compiled some tips and steps that will help you cope with your broken heart.
IMPORTANCE OF A LOVE LIFE
In order to understand why breakups impact us the way they do, and why breakup advice will help us get back in the game, we have to understand why love or a healthy love life is important to have. Our humanity is driven by the will to satisfy certain needs, and one of the top priority needs in a human’s life is love (amongst security, comfort and self-esteem). A lot of us find that the mushy and ‘lovey dovey’ qualities of love unnerving and odd. Some even think of it as a weakness. However, throughout history, humans can find that love is thought to be a strength and even a powerful characteristic. A love life with a partner or spouse provides an unconditional and unwavering support. There are countless examples of remarkable relationships in history who have persevered and become successful because of the support of their partners.
Love has spiritual importance as well. Almost every religion in the world has certain commandments or codes that dictate the basis of the religion itself, and almost all the commandments have to do with expressing love for one another. Love and support have a calming influence over your spiritual self and even your mental faculties. Scientifically speaking, love holds a vital part in your physical health. The physical aspect is fairly obvious; as humans who go through puberty and growth spurts, need a sexual and physical release. Love and attachment play a pivotal role in satisfying these needs.
Coming back to the topic, a healthy love life is a pre-requisite for maintaining a healthy lifestyle and leading a good life. Hence, when you go through heartbreak you are essentially losing a major chunk of a healthy lifestyle. Loss of any kind in your life is a painful thing to encounter, but losing someone who has a deeper emotional and physical connection with you is a difficult thing to encounter, regardless of the dynamics of the breakup.
WHY DO BREAKUPS HAPPEN?
Breakups occur for a number of reasons. Sometimes, a factor in your love life commonly termed as ‘chemistry’ plays a huge role in a breakup. This chemistry is not a scientific subject, instead it has a lot to do with human biology. In relationships, chemistry refers to a common bond, connection or feeling between two people, which stimulates love or sexual attraction. It has to do with how emotionally synced two people are. Some people have great chemistry and some people just simply don’t, it can also fade and change over time. Sometimes people realize the lack of chemistry until after they are in a relationship. Hence, it is the reason they breakup.
Another major reason which is especially common these days is that there is ‘someone else’. Ouch, I know, this is a tough one… Some people tend to be unfaithful to their partners which can result in a terrible heartbreak for either party. Although, unfaithfulness isn’t always the case. Maybe you feel you have met someone more compatible, or vice versus.
To be honest, this list is really almost infinite. Maybe you have different values, wants/needs, and passions. Regardless of what your specific reasoning is, it is important to first, find out what it is, address it, and then act on it.
HOW TO COPE WITH HEARTBREAK
Now coming to the main crux of the topic, how does one cope with such a loss in their personal lives? To start off, it’s important to note that some people who are emotionally strong or are the instigators of a breakup can handle breakups with much greater ease than others.
Another point to note is that after your breakup you will most likely get all kinds of advice, from all kinds of people. However, somewhere in the plethora of breakup advice are some important opinions and guidance that you should really hold on to.
The following are some of the relevant and important breakup advice that every person should consider if they are a victim of heartbreak.
1. GET CLOSURE
This is perhaps the most vital and effective piece of advice regarding breakups. Closure is where both parties of the breakup find peace and understanding with the fact that things are over and why they are over. Jeffery Sumber; a clinical counselor, says that “closure is a mutually agreed upon experience where both people leave with resolution or peace. Both parties can walk away with a sense of finality.”
How can one get closure and why is it important after a breakup? Getting closure normally depends on the relation you had and still have with your ex-partner. If you were on speaking terms then the best way would be to have a nice, friendly conversation where both parties can clear the air and say what they want. If you were not on speaking terms, the best way would be to go through a sort of ritual where you go through any items your ex left behind and either return them or give them away. It’s important to be civil and methodical when dealing with this ritual because negativity can always come back to haunt you.
Closure holds significance after a breakup because you come to terms with the fact that things are over. Quite simply put, you deserve peace of mind and it is in your power to get it. Apart from that, closure helps in the healing process after a bad breakup or breakup in general. Wounds heal over time, but closure is like a wound dressing that will help make the healing process less painful and faster. Closure also helps you move on. This point is especially important for people who have bright futures but are stuck in a rut because they can’t fathom life without their ex-partner. Closure will help you get a grip and allow you to look into the future, because let’s face it, it can’t get any worse.